Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Turning around the "who the fuck is this" via text

I had met this chick on the street while doing the walk of glory after banging that chick from Feb 15th. I waited almost a week to initiate the conversation.

Feb 23, 2014

Me: Do u always pick up guys on the street that are looking for the train? lol -Jared

Her: lol i promote my friends who are gay for that money

Me: I knew it. I can see you as the madam type. Not so much the "better get my money hoe" type. Im classy though. $5 blow jobs or stop wasting my time. Theres money to be made on these streets. ;)

Her: Wtd r u

(I misunderstood and thought she was asking where)

Me: I'm in schaumburg atm

Her: Thats nice

Her: Who the fuck is this

(I waited 16 hours and then responded)

Me: Im a thing of magic. Some people call me Justin Timberlake. You can call me Jared. We met last week when I was walking down the street in the midst of a walk of glory while drinking a beer and looking for either the blue or brown line. I told u we should be friends and u text me before continuing ur journey to the store.

Her: Oh hey lol

Me: I'm thinking of going out and making some questionable decisions. Care to join me?

Her: Where ya thinking? I gotta tun around for a bit and ill hit u up

Me: I'm thinking boystown but anywhere they have rude bartenders and alcohol works for me

Her: Cheap drinks?

Her: R u on fb

Me: Cheap drinks is always a plus. **gives facebook link**

Her: **her fb link** I added u

Me: That's pretty clever. I wish I had a mustcache like whats going on in ur profile pic

Her: lol

Her: Ya know...its all fun

Me: I feel ya. I'm debating what type of awesomeness to get in. Either way it should involve awesomeness

Her: lol my friends are having a party at their crib

Her: near irving and sheridan

Me: That sounds wonderful only my car is in ththe south side. Unless u can teach me how to teleport I think im going to be out in the nw suburbs the rest of the weekend

Her: where r u

Me: I'm in arlington heights. Want to come join me for drinks?

Her: Damn ur far

Her: How were u planning to get out here

Me: I was planning on hopping the train. The last one already came.

Her: Lame i would have grabbed ya down the street if u were here

Her: Doh!

Me: Thems the brakes. It's like that one time I played slots and it came up jackpot jackpot squirrel

Her: So ur a raver(once a candy kid)dj/breakz lover?

Her: Lol u said plur so...

Her: Boom bap, boom bap, BOomBaP

Her: Lol

Her: Dnb? dub? house? techno? trance? minimal? new skool? breakbeats? techhouse? deep? what?

Her: Trip hop? traphouse? jungle?

Me: I used to yes. Loved x like it was gummy vitamins. Havent for years. I can spin and make music

Her: lol I actually did yesterday for the first time in for ever during the day lol and like sally I passed out

Her: What do you play

Me: That sounds fun. I havent rolled during the day in a long time. I remix all types of dance music

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