Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Something I'm trying

I'm going to test this out a bit and report back.

Feel free to grab my internet dating book, The OKCupid Code

Text at 7:34pm Tue May, 6

Her: Hello Jared, I have received your application for position of wifey. Thank you for your interest. If you are available, I'd love to conduct an interview with you at your earliest convenience. Please let me know a time that works for you. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact me. Thank you very much and I look forward to speaking with you. Best, (username) aka Beth.

OkCupid message Tue May, 6

Her: We have followed up with you and your provided materials. Thank you so much! -- Margaret

Text 1:06pm Wed May, 7

Me: Hey Emily, I appreciate the quick reply. Hopefully last night was smashing for you. I personally found myself having to rescue baby seals from a burning house in the arctic. Are you any good at pool?

Text 4:43pm Wed May, 7

Her: I am mediocre at best, unfortunately.

Text 6:19pm Thursday May, 8

Me: That’s perfect. Bring your ATM card. We’ll play for money. Don’t worry though I won't take you for much, just enough for a new snowboard. ;)

Text 6:20pm Thursday May, 8
Her: hahahahahah

Text 3:12pm Friday May, 9
Me: We should go on a trip. I'm thinking somewhere tropical like Antarctica. Don’t worry about bringing a parka. I hear it’s warm there this time of year. For fun we can race polar bears. ;)

Text 5:36pm Friday May, 9
Her: I love polar bears, however, there are no polar bears in Antarctica. They're strictly North Pole.

Text 8:24pm Friday May, 9
Me: That just means I've got to get on the phone with my friend P Diddy and have him drop some off when we visit. It's either that or we are going to have to make do with using penguins as underwater jetskis

Text 8:25pm Friday May, 9
Her: Why does your friend have polar bear connections

Text 8:38pm Friday May, 9
Me: A long time ago in a far away land, young p diddy was lost at sea and sucked into a wormhole. When he awoke, he found himself surrounded by polar bears. They recognized him as lost and took him in. Over the years they taught him many things such as the way of the bear and how to have rhythm and rhyme lyrics together. Then one day a science expedition discovered him while hunting. They told him that they could bring him back to civilization. Before he left he decided to say goodbye to his bear family. He will forever be in their hearts as they in his and thats how he got the polar bear connection.

Text 8:38pm Friday May, 9
Her: Wow

Text 1:15pm Monday May, 12

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